men are from mars women are from venus by john gray

To a woman, the emotional stroke delivered by sincere attention is inseparable from the act. Larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points, etc.) go to what they consider bigger expenditures. Men, on the other hand, assign small acts, small expenditures, fewer points. Each individual act of love gets one point, regardless of magnitude. He says women use a points system which few men are aware of. Gray further asserts men and women view giving and receiving love differently, how individual actions intended as loving expressions are 'tallied up.' According to Gray, women and men are often surprised to find their partners 'keep score' at all, or that their scoring methods widely differ. This is a time when only communication can help to bring the relationship back into balance. If the balance shifts, one person feeling they have given more than they have received, resentment can develop. Gray writes how men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in relationships. The book and its central metaphor have become a part of popular culture and the foundation for the author's subsequent books, recordings, seminars, theme vacations, one-man Broadway show, TV sitcom, workout videos, a podcast, men's and ladies' apparel lines, fragrances, travel guides and his-and-hers salad dressings.

The book has sold more than 15 million copies and, according to a CNN report, it was the 'highest ranked work of non-fiction' of the 1990s, spending 121 weeks on the bestseller list. The book asserts each sex can be understood in terms of distinct ways they respond to stress and stressful situations. One example is men's complaint that if they offer solutions to problems that women bring up in conversation, the women are not necessarily interested in solving those problems, but mainly want to talk about them.

The book states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes, which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets-men from Mars and women from Venus-and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the other. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992 ) is a book written by American author and relationship counselor John Gray.

Men are from mars women are from venus by john gray